Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:icontigergirl1945: More from tigergirl1945


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
June 28, 2012
File Size
3.6 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
555
Favourites
17 (who?)
Comments
16
Downloads
4
×
(Yes, I'm basing this off of the incredibly funny Monty Python skit, What have the Romans ever done for us.)

What have the Jews ever done for us?!

(Somewhere in Germany, in Nuremberg, in a secret building)

(A bunch of Neo-nazis are talking)

Head Nazi: (stands up to podium) Alright! Order everybody, order!

(Nazis keep talking.)

Head Nazi: (sigh) Heinrich, if you will?

Nazi 1: (nods, pulls out air horn and HONKS it. Nazis all stop talking and their heads snap foreword)

Head Nazi: Thank you! Alright, everybody, welcome to the secret underground meeting of the neo-nazis, its good to have you all here. Now lets get right down to business. The main goal of the neo-nazi party is to rid Germany and Europe and then the world of the Jews.

(Nazis all nod in excitement.)

Head Nazi: After all, what have the Jews ever done for us?!

(Silence and then one Nazi slowly raises hand.)

Nazi 2: The cure for polio?

Head Nazi: What?

Nazi 3: Oh yeah! The polio vaccine was invented by Jonas Salk, a Jew!

Nazi 4: Yeah, my uncle got polio before they found a cure, oy vey!

(Nazis all nod in agreement. Head Nazi tries to calm them.)

Head Nazi: Alright, alright, I'll give you that, but besides the cure for polio, what else have the Jews ever given us?!

(Nazi 3 raises hand.)

Head Nazi: Uh, yes?

Nazi 3: Jeans?

Head Nazi: Wha-?!

Nazi 3: Like the pants, those were invented by Levi Strauss, a Jew of German origin.

(Nazis all nod in agreement)

Head Nazi: Okay, well besides the polio vaccine and Jeans, what….

Nazi 4: Oh! Oh! I have one! USB flash drive, invented in Israel!

Head Nazi: Ahhhh…

Nazi 3: And what about the shopping cart?

Nazi 2: Or the teddy bear! (yanks out teddy bear and hugs it, all the other nazis scoot away from him.)

Nazi 5: What about instant messaging?

Nazi 4: And the camera!

Nazi 3: Vaccination needle!

Nazi 2: Ballpoint pen!

Nazi 4: Remote control!

Nazi 6: Video tape!

Nazi 4: Who uses a video tape anymore?

Nazi 6: Hey, we had to get to DVDs somehow!

Nazi 3: They also invented sound movies…

Nazi 5: And Christianity!

Head Nazi: What?!

Nazi 5: Yeah! Jesus and Mary were both Jews, the Last Supper was Jesus celebrating Passover! Not to mention Paul, who basically spread Christianity, also a born Jew!

(Nazis all nod and voice their agreements)

Head Nazi: ALRIGHT! Besides the cure for polio, blue Jeans, USB flash drive, shopping cart, teddy bear (deep breath) instant messaging, vaccination needles, camera, ballpoint pen, video tape, sound movies, remote control and Christianity, what have the Jews ever done for us?!

(Silence and then Nazi 2 slowly raises hand.)

Nazi 2: Ten Commandments?

Head Nazi: Commandments?! Oh, shut up!

Nazi 1: Maybe we should move on to another topic.

Head Nazi: You're right, ah, lets move on to how much we hate the black people! Lord knows black people haven't given us any….

(Nazis are all bouncing basketballs, eating peanut butter, using electric lamps and cranking up the air conditioner.)

Head Nazi: I hate you guys….

The End
There are about 2956 or more other Jewish inventions but you get the drift ;)

And yes, those inventions I mentioned at the end were jut some of the contributions black people have made to the word. I feel bad for all you racist hicks that have to turn off the air conditioner now!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconwingdiamond:
WingDiamond Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
Not to mention the "Haber Process" named after Fritz Haeber, which fixes nitrogen in the air to form ammonia. He was a faithful minion of Kaiser Wilhelm II and contributed tirelessly to Das Neue Deutches Reich's efforts in "The Great War" to which his 1918 Nobel Prize in Chemistry was VERY CONTROVERSIAL (think of an Iranian or N. Korean nuclear physicist getting a Nobel Prize for work that just so happens allows for more efficient fissionable material extraction that can be placed in nuclear warheads) - so much that Ernest Rutherford pointedly refused to shake hands with him. The ultimate irony was that he was expelled from Germany (or he expelled himself) in 1933 for being Jewish.
Reply
:icongermanvisitor:
germanvisitor Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013
You should try the movie "Adam's Apples" if you can find it in English.^^
Reply
:iconlaurenkatz:
LaurenKatz Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Student Filmographer
LOL XD
Reply
:iconinvaderjes11:
InvaderJes11 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Best thing ever. XD
Reply
:iconblackdiamond1998:
blackdiamond1998 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:lmao:
Reply
:iconantaresdrake:
AntaresDrake Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I wouldn't want to see the head nazi's face when they start talking about gays XD! In fact, we have computers now because one of them, Alan Turing <3 <3 <3!

And speaking about gays being everywhere, here's this vid:

[link]
Reply
:icontigergirl1945:
tigergirl1945 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
:rofl:! Interesting, I'll have to look Alan Turning up, it'll give me more ammo when I'm givin nazis on the internet a peice of my mind.
:D
Reply
:iconantaresdrake:
AntaresDrake Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
And while you're at it, don't forget to mention that they have color television because of a Mexican XD!
Reply
:icontheawesomemeerkat:
TheAwesomeMeerkat Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2012  Student Writer
Oh wow, this is brilliant. :) Yeah, everyone in this world had something to contribute. No one can say that a certain group of people just sat on their butts and let all the other ethnic groups do the work. Otherwise how could they have survived past the ancient times, when humanity was more spread out and separated? XD
Reply
:iconhello-heydi:
hello-heydi Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Extremally good, funny and true ;)
Reply
Add a Comment: