literature

Blame the Jews?

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Literature Text

(Okay, so this is just a little skit I did. Makes fun of anti-Semitism. No offense meant, this is just satire!)

Blame the Jews!




(Large group of people is gathered in town square)
Person 1: What are we here for again?
Person 2: Somebody said the Neo-nazis are having a speech.
Person 1: And that's a reason to show up becaaause?
Nazi 1: Alright! Settle down, everybody, settle down! You too! Okay. Seig Heil to all! We of the honorable Nazi party.
Person 1: Honorable?! But you killed six million people, started a world war and caused Germany to have eternal shame!
Nazi 1: No we didn't.
Person 1: Yes you did! Look, I have a picture right here of the gas chambers and…
(Nazi 1 grabs picture and rips it up)
Nazi 1: I don't see a picture.
Person 1: Well you ripped-!
Nazi 1: You really need to stop lying! You're embarrassing yourself!
Person 1: (Facepalm)
Nazi 1: Well, as I was saying, presenting our Fuhrer number six-five-nine, Miss Fewer!
(New Fuhrer enters like game show host and stands up to podium)
Fuhrer: Thank you! Thank you! I love you all except for most of you!
Now as, you all know, we of the neo-nazi party have fallen into a dilemma…besides being banned in most of Europe…we're having a shortage of members! So, we're looking to recruit. So who wants to be a Nazi.
(Nobody raises their hand except one guy, who quickly puts it down)
Fuhrer: Really? Yeesh, why are we so unpopular everywhere but Iran?
Person 1: Maybe because you people killed six million people?!
Fuhrer: No we didn't.
Person 1: Why are you worshipping the guy that did?!
Fuhrer: He didn't either.
Person 1: JESUS!
Fuhrer: Ahh! Blasphemy! We're religious anti-Semitic racists!
Person 2: Wasn't Jesus a Jew?
Fuhrer: (changing subject) At any rate, why don't any of you wanna join?
Person 2: Why would we want to?
Fuhrer: Because if you join, you get to blame the Jews for every single solitary problem! The uniforms are snappy too! We've updated them so they're not all 1930's and…
Person 2: Why would we wanna blame the Jews?!
Fuhrer: I shall tell you! But I'll do it through song! Maestro! My tune, please!
Nazi 2: You got it, Fuhrer!
(Tune plays and Fuhrer begins to sing)
Fuhrer.
When I was just a little girl of three,
My daddy dear he came right up to me
He told me a secret, the secret of life
He told me just why the world is so rife!
With anarchy,
Nazis: (chorus) Anarchy!
Fuhrer:
Chaos!
Nazis: Chaos!
Fuhrer:
And s****!
Nazis: Sh*****!
Fuhrer:
He told me
It's the Jews!
Nazis: It's the Jews!
Fuhrer:
It's the Jews!
Nazis: Just the Jews!
Fuhrer:
It's the Jews who control the news!
Nazis: Oooooh!
Fuhrer:
It's the Jews who control the banks
Nazis: All the banks
Fuhrer:
They're all just poisonous snakes!
America is run by a Jew!
Nazis: By a Jew!
Fuhrer:
And the goyim just don't have clue!
Nazis: Not one clue!
Fuhrer:
And that's why we Nazis
Blame the Jews!
Nazis: Jeeeeeews!
Fuhrer:
The Jews are fat
And all Jews lie
The Jews caused my uncle Adolf to die!
Nazis: Diiie!
Fuhrer:
So even though we really don't know why!
Nazis: Whhhy!
Fuhrer:
We all hate the Jews!
Nazis: Hate the Jews!
Fuhrer:
We hate the blacks, we hate the Gays!
But more then them we hate the Hanukah days!

Nazis: Daaays!
Fuhrer:
We hate the Hispanics and the Muslims too!
But! We mostly hate the Jews!
Nazis: Jeeeews!
Fuhrer:
The Jews went and poisoned Napoleon's drink!
The Jews caused the Titanic ship to sink!
And that's why we Nazis all think!
That we should just blame the Jews!
Nazis: Jeeeeews!
Fuhrer:
The Jews caused cancer
And both world wars!
The Jews caused our national debt to soar!
I know you all think I'm a nazi whore!
But it really is all true!
Nazis: Truuuue!
Fuhrer:
The Jews caused the holocaust
You heard that right!
Eli Wiesel didn't really write 'Night!'
And Anne Frank's alive in Waterloo!
It was a plot by all the Jews!
Nazis: Jeeews!
Fuhrer:
The Jews did 9/11
Pearl Harbor too!
Osama Bin Laden
Was really a Jew!
Nazis: (Gasp!)
Fuhrer:
In fact all the bad stuff
You've been put through
You can all just blame the Jews!
Nazis: Blame the Jews!
Fuhrer:
If you've got a problem
You know who's at fault!
You know who to blame
When you spill the salt!
So come and join our Nazi cult
And we'll alllll
Nazis: Allllll!
Fuhrer:
Blaaaaaame!
Nazis: Blaaame!
Fuhrer:
The Jeeeeeews!
Nazis: We'll blame the Jews!
Fuhrer: Blame the Jews!
(Nazis and Fuhrer finish song and strike pose.)
Fuhrer: So, watta 'ya say, everyone, you wanna join in and blame the Jews?
Audience: GO TO HELL!
Fuhrer: (winces) Well! A simple 'no' would have sufficed!
The End
I wrote this with my friends. We've been having issues with hearing about anti-semitism and we just love to make fun of the Nazis' paranoid dellusions!
© 2012 - 2024 tigergirl1945
Comments17
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You know what I am tired of people saying that the Nazis the National Socialist are the bad guys and that we hate everythin. While the state of israel is slaughtering Palestinain men women and children, forcing them out of there homes, firering missials on there populice. The jews or what we call them, the zionist, are the responsible for controlling the mass media, its true, controlling our lives threw, world media, only showing us what you want use to see. The Jews will go through such legnths to get what they want, like to liwe to the entire World.

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The "holocuast" or Holohoax, the biggest sceam in history, there was no gassing, the jews that deid in camps deid of typhus, which was the main cause the death in those camps, gassing never happened, if the only genocide that should be recogniz is that of the Billions and Bilions of people that sufferd under the rule of communism. A jewish made goverment that is the cause of unrecorde number of lives.
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And dont tell me the Nazis hate evey one, when theu had Afrians, Asains Muslims, hell even jews in there ranks.

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